The Lost Art of Writing
While at a birthday party for one of my son’s classmates, I got into a discussion of sending thank you notes to the people who attended a child’s birthday party and brought gifts. We all agreed on the level of difficulty of not only thinking of the right thing to say in each thank you card and giving each one a personal touch, but also of using the correct spelling and grammar, deciding whether to write it in print or cursive, and whether the card should come from the mother or the child. I have had to throw away many a thank you card because I misspelled a word or someone’s name, or because I did not like what I wrote. One parent asked me if sending thank you cards was something I was brought up to do, and if I ever just sent cards to say hello or provide a family update. This question prompted me to think about writing in general, and the variety of methods for correspondence.
As I have mentioned in previous posts (see The Necessity of Tools), I take advantage of technological tools to keep in touch with my friends, family, and co-workers. I am addicted to applications like Windows Live Messenger, email, my BlackBerry, Twitter, and Facebook. These are all useful tools in personal and work life, because they provide an instant (or near instant) response, they are convenient, and they are the medium of communication for so many people. With the exception of thank you cards and holiday cards to clients and prospective clients, I have not handwritten a letter or card to anyone since I was a child. I would be greatly moved if I were to receive a handwritten letter from a friend today.
Throughout my career I have also noticed how many business people do not write well at all, whether writing in cursive, print, or with a word processor. At times I am guilty of this. The reasons for this are twofold: 1) Many people were either not taught correct grammatical or spelling skills or do not utilize the skills they were taught; and/or 2) People are in such a hurry to get their point across (and rely upon Spell Checker to catch their mistakes) that they do not take the time to make sure the recipient of their email, IM, or document will fully understand what they are trying to convey.
So, what happened to the lost art of writing? What would happen if people stopped using the usual email, IM, or online communities to send notes to each other? Based upon the few times I have sent handwritten notes, I know that it takes considerably more effort and a deeper level of personal commitment to write and edit a handwritten letter. Without the backspace key, the delete key, and Spell Checker, you have to put a great deal more thought into the message you are trying to get across. Although the handwritten letter is not conducive to the fast pace of the business world, an occasional one sent to friends or family could immeasurably improve your ability to get your point across in emails or documents, improve grammar and spelling, introduce new words, and make you think harder about how a well written document or email is a direct reflection of you as a person.
Thinking harder about what we write causes us to also think harder about what we say and how we say it. This introspection is something I try to practice in my personal life and career, as I tend to be direct and say the first thing that comes to mind (something that is not always appreciated, depending upon the audience). You will better be able to articulate your message if you slow down and give more thought to what it is you are trying to say and how you want your audience to respond. I have come up with a few ways in which people can enhance their ability to convey the right message.
· Write handwritten thank you notes to co-workers who have helped you with a critical issue or a project.
· If you are giving employees a bonus or a special gift, write a little note that tells them what they mean to you and the organization.
· Instead of buying a pre-printed card at the store, buy one that is blank and write your own thank you, happy birthday, etc.
· Write occasional letters to your parents or children expressing your thoughts on an important event or milestone. Encourage your children to write letters to you and other family members from time to time.
Do a bit of research on the best methods of improving your communication skills, and the types of personal touches you can utilize to achieve a desired response.
What tools do you utilize to improve your written and communication skills?
Well put, Kate. Since I’m a writer, it’s not surprising that I would keep a stack of blank cards for jotting a ‘Thank You’ or ‘I’m Thinking of You’ letter to my friends, and I do use them. The interesting point is that my friends all seem to love to receive them and will almost always reciprocate, even the most writing-impaired among them. Which leads to my second point:
In the days of hand-written letters, I suspect people were more relaxed about strike-throughs and accidental misspellings, and well should have been owing to the nature of the medium (expensive pen and ink) and limited time for writing. So I say grab some pen and paper, do a mental run-through of what you wish to say, don’t over-censor yourself as you write, then let your better friends appreciate your kind effort. (While as an added bonus, you get to practice managing your ‘queue’ in a more sophisticated manner so that your thoughts come out more, well, thoughtfully the first time.)
I recently received a handwritten thank-you note from a fellow Toastmaster for helping to organize an event. It was an unexpected surprise. Thinking about it, I realize that I receive 3-4 handwritten notes a year, usually thank-you notes from Toastmasters.
I enjoy choosing note cards, and keep a supply on hand, though I don’t send them as often as I could. I will send more after reading your post. It’s something I enjoy when I make the effort, despite having very poor handwriting. I have several friends and relatives, including my mother, who don’t, and never will use computers, though they are not the only people I send handwritten notes to.
I think I was required to write thank-you notes as a child; my memory is a little vague on that. My sister did require my nephew (now 28) to write thank-you notes. He was ten when I gave him some dumbells he had requested for his birthday. I still have the 3 x 5 card on which he painstakingly printed his thanks. His note ends with, “I will use them till they wear out.”
I am of the “Baby Boomer”generation before computers changed our means of communication. Everything was written long hand and delivered by mail. I wrote hundreds if not thousands of letters to family and friends. Of course, we typed business letters. It was that experience that taught me to write concise and well thought-out speeches, articles for organizations, business and political correspondence. The computer just made it easier and faster to make necessary changes. But, I think the act of putting pen to paper helped me with the process of expressing my thoughts and feelings. It took awhile to learn to compose my thoughts on the computer.
I do love the innovations in communication. I love to email and go on the internet to research anything and everything I can think of. I did learn early on that you do have to be careful with your emails - the recipient does not always know the tone of your expression and that can cause big misunderstandings. And what would any of us do without our cell phones. No escaping the World these days.
The handwritten note is still the most appreciated means of communications. I read every word that is written, where as I will skim computer generated letters. I wonder if that is true for others?
I like to use hand written notes and cards just to mix things up when communicating with friends and family. One of my favorites is to hand write a letter, then scan it to pdf and email it to the recipient.
I also can’t just sign a birthday or holiday card. I always write a personal note in there and I think most people appreciate it.
And on the subject of workplace thank you notes, I once did a presentation on a new product for the operational VP’s and CEO of a company I had only just started at(about a month in) and the CEO sent me a card with a hand written message thanking me for a good job. I still have that card, 5 years after leaving the company.
One of the other main areas for hand writing is in a journal. I personally keep a notebook beside the bed to jot thoughts or to work out ideas and feelings. The added bonus of hand writing is the tone of the writing is carried in the way that you write. My writing gets heavier and angular when I am angry and conversly neater and rounder when I am happy. I guess I could do that with a word processor, but it would take a concious effort to change fonts…
Thanks very much for that well written post.